Today marks 39 days of being in Tanzania.
I’am currently sitting outside with another intern, a bit tired, but completely at peace. Despite all the pressures of travelling, expectations, and internal struggles of working in the humanitarian field, I’m doing okay. Since the first day I stepped on Tanzanian ground, I can already tell I have grown so much. The people I’ve meet on the street, my peers, and community partners have all a played a part in my growth. Everyone that has crossed my path has taught me something. I just hope I have taught them something in return.
One thing I’ve learned is that much of the struggles one faces are struggles inflicted upon oneself. We are our biggest criticizers. Lately, I have put a lot of pressure on myself merely because I want to produce a report of value and significance. The last thing I want to do is contribute something that seems relevant to me, but to the organization is insignificant. Nevertheless, much of my worry comes from within and my own expectations of myself, even though, I know I have every capability of achieving my expectations. In university, much of what I’ve learned is based on hypothetical situations or cases. So, now that I am faced with a real life experience where I have to actually apply what I’ve learned to a project I am responsible for, “What if I can’t do it?”
And I think this is something most people can relate to. At some point, we all have moments where we doubt ourselves and allow our expectations of ourselves, or what we think society expects of us, to control us. As a result, we curl up in our bed all day wanting no human interaction, and mindlessly tuning out the outside world with distractions. Sometimes being so stressful, instead of pushing us forward, pushes us back. Lately, I’ve felt this way and I know the other interns have as well.
We all have those days, and they’re not always the best, but we need them. As long as by the end of the week, you’re able to get yourself out of bed and step forward, I think you’ll be okay too.
“Change your thinking and change your life.”
Les Brown
Nuria Rojas-Life in Mwanza, Tanzania 